Two weeks on the road for 2,826 miles with a watermelon named Mildred

"All that you keep is the journey, all that you keep are the spaces in between..."
-Conor Oberst




My very first road trip involved my mom and I driving from Charlotte to New Orleans to Pensacola to Boone, North Carolina. We slept in the car one night. We woke up one morning and my mom asked me, "Where should we go today?" Since that moment, I've always been compelled by the journey, just driving from one place to the next with the windows rolled down and the music playing loud.

Once I turned 16 and bought a car, it seemed like I took a road-trip at least twice a year. Instead of going to the beach for Spring Break like most normal high-schoolers, me and my best friend, Jennie Ann, would pack the car and take off for a trip through the Northeast. Often, we ended up in Montreal. We stopped all along the way...Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Providence, Chicago.

Since selling my truck, my desire to road-trip has become enhanced...and so, when my best friend told me she was getting married in Charleston, South Carolina-- I decided that instead of flying in for the event, I'd plan a road trip that began with our week at the beach and ended with a wedding celebration for the couple in Charlotte. Since this would be my first opportunity to road-trip alone in many years, I decided to make it a trip to visit old friends and minor league baseball parks.

The greatest thing about road-trips is that you never really know where you'll end up. You set your course for a certain destination and within a couple of hours, you've decided on a completely different destination. And it was exactly this aspect of letting go that I needed more of in my life. So much of my life is planned out and subjected to schedules...and so for the first time in years, I wanted to remove those obstacles. I wanted to see what might happen if I just let anything happen. No rules, she said.

And you know what? The most wonderful things happened.

I saw a lot of baseball. I saw some ballparks I've wanted to visit for years. I had delightful meals and drinks with old friends and new friends. I bought ridiculous trinkets at every stop. I went swimming in the middle of the night, not once but twice. Some nights I passed out from sheer exhaustion, while other nights I stayed up late laughing and still other nights, I stared up at the sky pondering the absolute wonderment of the internet. In an essence, I celebrated everything. At least once a day, I cheers'd my life, my friends, and simply the wonderment of it all.

I think that Derek's aunt Janice might have pegged me correctly when she said, "Oh girl, you are gypsy. A gypsy girl just wandering around having the time of her life." And she is right.

I've recently taken to espousing the thrills of just letting things happen to just about anyone that will listen. Instead of walking through life and bumping into everything, I've decided to let it just wash over me. Instead of turning against the tide, I've decided to turn into it. Maybe that makes me sound like a hippie, or maybe it makes me sound like I'm under the influence of drugs or good sex...but "irregardless" (Reed 2011) I've discovered that I rather enjoy letting life unfold naturally. I can let it just happen without trying to schedule, plan, and organize all of it. And so for the last two weeks, I released my tenuous control over my life. I removed the regulations and the rules and the restrictions-- and let it happen. And it was fucking fantastic.

For the last hour, I've been writing this blog and attempting to capture every moment of it. But I've decided instead to utilize the joy of lists. Instead of trying to tell you about everything, I'd rather keep some of it to myself.




Here are the moments...

1. My first night at Edisto, sitting on the back porch with Jennie Ann drinking wine.

2. The Kan't Touch This shirt

3. A change in plans that led me to invite Sam, my old friend from Myrtle Beach, to come to Charleston and go to the Charleston Riverdogs game with me.

4. The Charleston Riverdogs and my visit to Charleston with Sam. There were Homewrecker hats, delightful veggie nachos, a free beer, and then the luck of happenstance, which led me to stay in a beautiful 3-story carriage house in downtown Charleston with a private pool.

5. Hence, night swimming in the private pool should make the list. Because it was absolutely breathtaking.

6. That delightful pimento cheese and Orange Crush at the Edisto Farmer's Market with Jennie Ann, Derek and Steve. I guess those chickens were pretty cool too.

7. An afternoon at the beach with Jennie Ann, Derek, Steve, and Jordan. From the preparation with sunscreen on Steve's back to attempts at reading to the Tecate and boiled peanuts to the warm sun in South Carolina.

8. Jennie Ann's birthday cook-out with all those listed above including Ellen! The food was delightful. The company was stellar. The dancing was incredible (and funny).

9. Jennie Ann and I's drive from Edisto to Charleston.

10. The rehearsal party in Larry and Jennie's room at the hotel. I got to celebrate the upcoming nuptials with Larry, Jennie, Jenny, Harry, Hoyt, Jonelle, Janice, Jordan, Blaine, Ellen, Jennie Ann, Derek, Steve, and Wyatt. It was a joyous occasion.

11. Dinner with Jennie Ann, Derek, and Steve at Husk. Cocktails and dinner. A damn fine catfish. I even tried a bite of lamb...and while I can appreciate it, I'm not sure it is my thing.

12. Cocktails at Husk's bar with the above mentioned folks-- and also Ellen, Blaine, Jordan, Alisha, and Wyatt.

13. Late night party with Wyatt and Steve, while we speculated on how to wake up Derek and Jennie Ann.

14. Breakfast with the beautiful bride the morning of the wedding. There were mimosas and espresso. And the world's largest champagne glass, which is something I can get behind.

15. An afternoon at the salon with the girls-- Jordan, Jennie Ann, and Jennie. Almost as delightful as the salon was the delicious sandwich I chowed down on from East Bay Deli back at the hotel while Jennie Ann was getting her hair constructed.

16. Visiting both the bride's room and the groom's room before the ceremony.

17. Riding in the bike taxi with Steve to the ceremony. Particularly fun was when I proceeded to tell Steve that I thought the bike taxi fella was hot and then realizing the bike fella could hear every word I said.

18. The wedding ceremony. It was beautiful. It was moving. I cried and Jonelle (Derek's mom) wrapped her arms around me.

19. The wedding dinner. I thought to myself a few times that night-- these people know how to get down. For sure.

20. The single lady and fellas night out on the town. There was a rooftop bar. There was dancing. There was laughter. There were lots of pretty ladies.

21. Mike and I taking off to find last call in Charleston, only to crash into a hotel pool for more night swimming.

22. Waking up the next morning with Jonelle and Janice.

23. Visiting the honeymoon suite for Derek to give birth to Mildred.

24. Seeing the Wooden Hearts, my friend Sam's band at Rosa Linda's in Murrell's Inlet. I haven't heard hillbilly jazz before, but I was sold within one minute of the pickin' and grinnin'.

25. Watching The House of Yes with Sam, while sharing a bottle of Malbec and snuggling with Yogi.

26. Waking up in Charleston that Monday morning...and not knowing where to go next. And really, not deciding where to go, until I finished breakfast at the Waffle House.

27. The Montgomery Biscuits game in Montgomery, Alabama. And afterwards at the bar down the street, meeting new friends.

28. Exploring Montgomery. Hank Williams Museum. Rosa Parks Museum.

29. Visiting my brother in Mobile, Alabama.

30. The Mobile BayBears game with my brother in Mobile. Beer in the can. Nachos. Clarence, the dancing man. The torrential rain. Fulton County stadium seats. And tons and tons of laughter.

31. Visiting Gulf Shores. Having breakfast at a beach shack. Putting my feet into the Gulf. Reflections.

32. My one night return to Nashville-- and spending it with Ashley Ludman to tell her about my wild adventures and subject her to a photo viewing of all my pictures.

33. Meeting Darien for dinner at Good Food on Montford. I had pork belly, posted a picture of it and started a small war between me and the vegetarians. Later that night, Thirsty Beaver for lots of laughter...and my motherly advice to a group of 20-somethings who were about to operate a car after lots of drinking.

34. Driving with my mother to Greensboro to pick up my brother John. Truck drivers and dancing.

35. Chichaitos and margaritas with my family.

36. Dinner at Dish with the family. Followed with dessert and drinks at 300 East to visit my sister. Probably my favorite part (outside of having Chicken 'n Dumplins for the first time in years) was when Emmett, my nephew, kept saying, "Que, queeeeee?"

37. Helping Jennie Ann set up at the Charlotte wedding celebration.

38. My mom and I visiting the grocery store and my discovery that the Jarrito's were on a close out sale-- and subsequently purchasing every single bottle in the store.

39. The wedding celebration. I got to see so many old friends. I got to have some awkward conversations with people I haven't seen in years. I got to dance. I got to see the lovely families of the bride and groom, whom I love. There was cake smashed on faces. There was some wild dancing. There were torrential rains. I was super happy to get to meet the lovely wives of both Chris Love and Brian Tucker. I was happy to spend time with Derek's brother Wyatt, discussing the mechanics of the Electric Slide. There was more wild dancing.

40. The Kinston Indians. I have to give a shout out to Jordan's husband Blaine for telling me about the stadium. Last year for the stadium. Incidentally, the game went into overtime. I left in the 11th-inning. Turns out this was the longest game in Carolina League history-- 23 innings. I met some lovely ladies at the game...and we spent the rest of the game laughing together. Wonderful stadium.

41. Making the decision to drive back to Myrtle Beach one last time. It was impulsive and perfect.

42. Margaritas with Sam on the porch of Rosa Linda's and later listening to him play his new violin and laughing at how much we love cats and want them on rainbows.

43. Letting Sam convince me to have breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Myrtle Beach before returning to Nashville.

44. That long, long, long drive home.

45. I feel like there should be a 45, just to round it out. So, what could the last one be? Reflecting on the joy of it all...and returning to spend an evening with my lovely Nashville family-- Ashley, Michelle, and Cassie...and then to visit with Art and Jeremy, for a bonfire in the middle of summer.

All in all, it was beautiful. I'm trying to shake off the broodiness that comes when I return home. I'm trying to incorporate what I learned in those two weeks into my life here in Nashville. I'm trying. I've got three weeks here before I'm off for more adventures in Puerto Rico. I'm struggling to stay in one place.

And I thank all of you for the wonderful adventures of the last two weeks. I am extremely blessed to have so many beautiful people in my life. Yeah, I said it, you can make fun of me if you like....but it was so absolutely fantastic.


"Baby, I finally know what I'm going after. I'm learning to let in all the laughter. Holy moly, you're so funny. You crack me up, you crack me up..." -Devendra Banhart

I'm Going to Graceland...

I can't quite remember when I fell in love with Elvis. I can't even remember the first song I heard by Elvis. It frustrates me that I can't remember when or how Elvis entered into my musical memory. But I do remember when I decided that I wanted to visit Graceland.

I was in high school. It was my senior year. I had recently started dating a young man named Greg Korbler. And tonight, I tried to find him on Facebook, because I thought if anyone would be pleased with my decision to make the pilgrimage to Graceland, it would be Greg. Greg loved Elvis. I mean, he really LOVED Elvis. I remember him singing "Can't Help Falling in Love" to me. I also remember when we broke up in a Wafflehouse in Charlotte, he played "Suspicious Minds" on the jukebox. While I haven't a clue where to find Greg these days, I do know one thing, he left behind an intense love for Elvis in me. And despite the over-the-top touristy feel of Graceland, I've always wanted to make the trip.

Many of you might also know that Ashley, one of my bestest friends, is moving to Wales in August for graduate school. And so, when I mentioned to her that I might road trip to Memphis to visit Graceland, we knew that it'd be a perfect trip to take together. Tomorrow morning, we leave Nashville to embark on this journey. We've got plans to visit Graceland, Beale Street, the Arcade Restaurant, the Civil Rights Museum, Sun, and Stax.

And I can't imagine a better way to celebrate one of our last few weeks together. Watch out Memphis, we are on our way.

As per usual, I've created a road trip mix...to guide us on our path. Here you go...I'm not sure all of them will upload to 8tracks, but you'll at least get to hear some of them. Here is the full listing...



It's Your Thing- Isley Brothers
Graceland- Paul Simon
Memphis- Chuck Berry
Don't Be Cruel- Elvis Presley
Music Makin' Mama from Memphis- Hank Snow
Honky Tonk Women- The Rolling Stones
(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay- Otis Redding
All the Way from Memphis- Mott the Hoople
Proud Mary- Ike Turner and Tina Turner
Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again- Bob Dylan
I'm Going to Memphis- Johnny Cash
Sequestered in Memphis- The Hold Steady
Mighty Mississippi- David Dondero
Letter to Memphis- Pixies
Hold On I'm Coming- Sam and Dave
The Thrill Is Gone- BB King
Mean Woman Blues- Roy Orbison
634-5789- Wilson Pickett
Mr. Pitiful- Otis Redding
Mississippi- Bob Dylan
Tired of Being Alone- Al Green
(You're The) Devil In Disguise- Elvis Presley
Mystery Train- Elvis Presley

By the way, I haven't a clue why they call it 8tracks, seeing as how I just uploaded 17 tracks. And apparently, you can't upload more than 1 track by the same artist. But enjoy. I plan an update when I return. Wait for it.

Somos Nashville: One Year Anniversary of the Nashville Flood

Last month, I started thinking about this weekend-- the one year anniversary of the Nashville flood. My neighbors, Ashley and Michelle, and I talked about how we wanted to commemorate the anniversary. And for me, I knew of no better way than to put together a mix of songs that resonated for me and to write about it. Today, I will spend the evening with my neighbors. We will cry. We will hug. We will remember how we vacillated between fear, sadness, humor, and ultimately, the strength we found together.

It is hard to believe that a year has passed. Perhaps harder still is to recognize that so many people here in Nashville are still trying to find their way. And harder still to think about the people recently impacted by the storms in the south. The ways in which disasters tear everything apart and simultaneously show you the power of community and friendship.

And so here we are. One year later.

I fear tonight I'll dream about that morning. I fear that in my sleep, I'll feel the water on my feet when I put them down on the floor that morning.

But instead, I hope I'll remember how my friends came together to help, day after day. Whether they showed up everyday to move and clean my belongings, whether they brought over beer and offered their homes up to me, whether they bought me groceries to stock my kitchen for weeks, whether they donated their furniture to me, whether they simply sat with me while I cried and sat on my empty living room floor, or whether they called me late at night to give me support from faraway places. These are the things that I hope I will think about tomorrow.

And...undoubtedly, when I throw my arms around Ashley and Michelle today...I hope I'll be able to cast off the sadness and realize how despite the destruction and all that we lost in the flood, I gained two of the greatest friends. Friends that I know will be forever in my life, no matter the distance or time.

In case you didn't see it, I wrote something about the flood in the days that followed...you can find it here:

We Were Underwater














And so, here you have it, a mix I put together that reminds me of those days...and the days that followed...hell, even, the months that followed. Click on the link below to listen in no particular order-- and read the song listing that follows:




1. Ocean of Noise- Arcade Fire

"Left in the morning, while you were fast asleep, into an ocean of violence, a world of empty streets...I'm gonna work it out, cause time won't work it out..."

2. You Have To Be Joking- The Flaming Lips

"Stood here in the morning, got no science to explain, seems to me that God and the devil are both the same..."

3. Lord, I'm Discouraged- The Hold Steady

4. Hang On- Dr. Dog

"Stay here for a little while more, 'cause its a funny thing, I need a friend, not an angel..."

5. Under Sad Stars- Crooked Fingers

"Under sad stars in dingy bars, we turn away, we tear apart, one drop of grace, distant and safe, they cannot touch you where you are. Cold shafts of rain falling dark gray, falling so far they can't be saved, they cannot hurt you anymore, here underneath these sad sad stars..."

6. Long Way Home- Eric Ayotte

"I want to take you out at night, go on a date, go to someplace nice, somewhere we can watch the water flow. Niagara Falls, maybe down in Mexico, someplace, not this apartment...This is our home, this is our home, I understand now, we gotta get to it alone..."

7. When the Bottom Fell Out- Vic Chesnutt

"When the bottom fell out, There wasn't any doubt, I just suddenly found myself free falling, And from such a great height, The wind it had a might. And it took all my might to fight the fright. And falling spread eagle, must of formed an airfoil or some kind of wing, And I gained some equilibrium, And caught myself gliding..."

8. I Must Belong Somewhere- Bright Eyes

"Let the sideways rain in the crooked street remain...Everything must belong somewhere, I know that now, that's why I'm staying here..."

9. After the Storm- Mumford and Sons

"And after the storm, I run and run as the rains come, And I look up, I look up, on my knees and out of luck, I look up. Night has always pushed up day, You must know life to see decay, But I won't rot, I won't rot, Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot. And I took you by the hand and we stood tall, And remembered our own land, what we lived for. And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there, with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."

10. It's A Wonderful Life- Sparklehorse

"I'm full of bees, who died at sea...It's a wonderful life..."

Springtime Crushes: Let's get Twitterpated

It seems that as long as I can remember, spring has always ushered in new crushes. Apparently, I'm not alone in this...even Bambi and his friends get "twitterpated" with the arrival of spring. See below.

The Meaning of Twitterpated

Even after all these years, I find myself absolutely crushed by crushes. Just like Owl says in the clip, you are walking by, you see a pretty face and just like that, your knees go weak.

Perhaps it is the promise of something new, like the beginning of spring. The moments in between, before you've even met the person. And you can engage in all types of ridiculous hopeful behavior. You can speculate about what it might be like when you actually work up the courage to talk to your crush.

You find yourself wondering...What is his name? What if it is Richie? Could I date a Richie? What if he has horrible taste in music? What would it be like to date someone who is a _____(yes, I'm protecting myself here). What if he wears some old white Reebok tennis shoes in his free time?

You can wonder about all of this with your closest friends, giggling all the moments in between. But I suppose the best part of it is all the unknown, all the questions, all the wondering. Just like we all do with our favorite baseball teams in April. It is the hopefulness and excitement of a new season.

Yep, I'm blushing right now just thinking about it.

Entonces, I'll celebrate new crushes and a new season. So, I put together this 8-track mix of crush songs...those that can accompany you when you spend a lazy afternoon in the yard (or side-yard for me and my neighbors) and think of days to come.



And just maybe, I'll work up the courage soon.

--------

Song Listing:

1. Counting Backwards- The Velvet Teen
2. Last Days of Disco- Yo La Tengo
3. Like U Crazy- Mates of State
4. Chesterfield King- Jawbreaker
5. 'Reak Scene- Dinosaur Jr.
6. Crazy For You- Best Coast
7. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy- Rod Stewart
8. I Melt With You- Modern English

Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye....Puerto Rico

Golden BB's: The Z-Man and A Macaroon

Last night, I found out that my grandfather passed away. Since my somewhat flippant comment about it on Facebook, I received loads of support and condolences from friends and family all around the world. Without a doubt, I thank you all. However, I must admit, my feelings about this loss are complicated...and awkward at times. My relationship with my grandfather was estranged and difficult. And last night, I found myself confused with the news. I was confused about my reaction, confused about how the loss of my grandfather impacted me...and more directly, how it didn't impact me. These feelings are further complicated by the pain his death has caused for my family members. I recognize these and sympathize with how it must feel for them, but regardless of how many memories I flip through in my mind, I can not reconcile these feelings. So, it is with conflicted emotions that I say goodbye.

Perhaps one of the further complications is the fact that on February 1, 2001, I lost someone that I cared about very deeply. 10 years ago, I was forced to say goodbye to a good friend, lover, mentor, and comrade. His name was Joe, but we often called him Joe-b-won and the Z-man. He use to call Jennie Ann, Jabba. He was my Art History and Film professor. He was considerably older than me. He was the first man I lived with. He was jealous and controlling, but he was also the first partner I had to talk with about film and music and sociology. My brothers thought he was Bruce Wayne and Batman when they met him on Thanksgiving. He was an artist. We started dating on Valentine's Day, 1997. We broke up for the first time on Valentine's Day, 1998. He called me macaroon. Instead of telling him I loved him, I said, seven bucks a tube. He taught me to love the delightful joy of butter beans and Rodin. We lived in a farm house without running water, across the street from a pyramid house. We spent one night sitting on the hood of his Volvo, watching a meteor show in Bethel, North Carolina. He gave me his first piece of welded art, an evil-eye pendant, which still hangs from my rear view mirror. We started writing a screenplay together through letters.

The last time I saw him was on Halloween 2000. He was dressed as a ghost. And the last time we spoke was in late January 2001. He told me he hoped I was happy.

I found out about his death from one of my oldest friends. He called me at work. He hesitated and then he told me, knowing the inevitable reaction. Loss was not rare for me in those years. I made the trip to the funeral, which was awkward for reasons I won't go into here. But I officially said goodbye to him much later that night at a rock show of the Port Huron Statement, when the band dedicated their last song to him and I locked arms with those that knew him and we let our voices raise up above the trees (...in Jeff Mangum's words).

What stays with me the most are two lessons that Joe taught me...

One, when I was entangled in some family drama, I remember him telling me, "Always keep your eye on the exit. Always know how to leave when necessary."

And perhaps more importantly, secondly, I called Joe when I lost one of my closest friends to death. I called him, confused and scared. He told me that death is happenstance. He told me that essentially, we wander through our lives. We never know when time will be up. We don't choose that. And out in the universe are all these golden bb's-- circulating and flying through the air. We spend our days dodging them, and sometimes, it just happens, a golden bb gets you and that's it. Time up. Game over. While I cried into the phone, he said to me, "Fuck those golden bb's."

Shortly after the death of my friend, I visited Joe. He gave me a gift. It was an empty mini-wine bottle filled with bb's. He wrote on the side of the bottle, "Hey Sugarmac- At least I took some of them outta circulation. Love, Joe."

And while I sit here tonight missing him, I can't help but think to myself, fuck those golden bb's...because I've missed him these last ten years.

One of his favorites...

Resolucions

Last night, I set out to draw up my list of resolutions for the New Year. Now I present to you the lessons I hope to learn in the next year...

1. Expectations of Others.

Over the holiday season, I realized that my expectations of others can be constraining at times. In the new year, I plan to let go of these expectations and just accept my circumstances as they are.

2. Forgiving and Forgetting.

I plan to recognize that forgiveness is important; however, there are times when forgiveness is not necessary. That being said, we must forget. Negotiating between forgiveness and forgetting will be an important lesson in the year to come.

3. Letting Go.

Yes, letting go is important both in my expectations of others, as well for forgetting and forgiving; however, letting go takes a slightly different form. I plan in the new year not to fuck things up with my desire to control everything around me. By letting go of control, I will attempt to relish all the moments in between.

4. Freedom from Technology.

No, I'm not going to say I won't use Facebook daily or I will only check my email once a day...but instead, I plan to utilize more boundaries around how much I allow technology to enter into my day. I'm not sure what form this will take, but I plan to create space and time in my day where I can turn off my phone or shut off the internet.

5. Champagne and Headbands.

In the new year, I plan to drink more champagne and get or make headbands for every occasion.

2010: The Year of the Brooders

Like so many others tonight, I'm spending the last few hours of the year reflecting on the passing of the year and starting to build anticipation for a new year. Even as arbitrary as the "passing of the year" may seem, I find something comforting in sifting through status updates, blog posts, and old pictures. Yesterday in talking with a friend about the year 2010, I could only think of one word: intense. It was a year of intense highs and intense lows, with little in between.

It was a year heavy with loss and light with the comfort of good friends and family. It was a year I spent confused by time zones, crossing between spaces and places. It was a year I felt at home in more than one place. It was a year of emotional joy and turmoil. It was a year of challenge in numerous ways.

1. I said goodbye to both Pete Peterson and Charles Meador this year. We, as a community, said goodbye to Mark Linkous of Sparklehorse. It was the 10 year anniversary of saying goodbye to my father. The heaviness of these losses weigh particularly heavy on me as we transition into a new year.

2.I also loss the comfort of a few close friends, due to various circumstances. Although I end the year without the comfort of their friendship, I still recognize just how much they've added to my life this past year.

3.The Nashville flood. While so much of what I remember from the flood is of loss, it also produced a family with my neighbors (Ashley and Michelle), allowed me to ask for and receive help from loved ones and good friends (too many to name), and loosened my grip on those things we can't control.

4. There were great shows: Eric Bachmann, Jonathan Richman, David Dondero, The Hold Steady, The National, Andrew Jackson Jihad and The Arcade Fire...and all the music I saw in Puerto Rico-- particularly Anti Sociales and Superaquello.

5. I spent eight weeks of my year in Puerto Rico. My time in Puerto Rico are among (and will always remain) some of my fondest of memories. I found a family there. I met some of the best friends I've ever had and opened my heart up again to the possibility. I also had the opportunity to activate the activist in myself. I think of my friends on the island every day, missing them and appreciating what they've brought to my life. I heart you folks.

6. My mother visited Nashville for my birthday and made my birthday quite spectacular. Trey and Charlie visited, which upon reflection is quite bittersweet. I'll never forget those precious days. My friend Carlos visited in October and was forced to acknowledge my top-notch dance skills. My friend Joel visited for Thanksgiving and reminded me how important it is to enjoy every moment.

7. I had more side lawn parties than I can count.

8. I finished my masters thesis and earned my second masters degree (official today!). I wrote a book chapter. I presented my research on the University of Puerto Rico student movement for the first time. I wrote a grant and was awarded funding to spend the summer in Puerto Rico.

9. I started learning Spanish, both informally and formally. Mostly, I learned how to say "Cabron! Vete pal carajo, mamabicho." That being said, I also learned how to describe my family and furniture in the present tense. Now, I shall move on to perfecting the imperfect and future tenses...and of course, fine-tuning my knowledge of insults.

10. I had the opportunity to witness many of my friends making life-changing decisions. Jennie Ann and Derek got engaged. Ashley applied and got accepted to graduate school in Wales. My brother John graduated from college and got a job. And others, that shall remained unnamed, dealt with tragedies with a grace that I admire. And lastly, my sweet niece (dulce sobrina) Rowan was added to our family.

(I decided to write 11 items, given the new year)

11. If I've learned anything in this past year, it has been the sheer treasure that I have in my friends. Not only do I have the privilege of having a wonderful and talented family, but I've developed numerous other families-- in Charlotte, in Nashville, in Puerto Rico, in South Carolina, in California. I learned the importance of nurturing these relationships through family dinners and the simple acknowledgement of just how much these people mean to you. I've also had the joy of realizing how much I mean to others, which I thank you all for.

And here are some pictures from the past year...for your enjoyment.

Best of 2010

And to 2011, I cheers you. I'm ready for you.

A Year in Facebook Status Updates: 2010

Over the holiday season, I took the opportunity to review my year of status updates (with the help of a new application on my phone that collects all of your updates in one place). While I appreciate the Facebook applications that compile your top words and the like-- I was curious to see what took place over the course of the year. While I plan to compile a few "Best of 2010"-- I present to you here my favorite status updates from the year...

January 2010
"In the last six months, I've gone from being a 'sad clown' to a 'melancholic pirate'- today, I'm a 'cheerful robot.' -1/24/2010

February 2010
"If I am Daniel Faraday, then you are Desmond Hume. And the island wants us back..." -Jennie Ann Cole on 2/5/2010

"My grandmother gave me some advice today about how to cure my cold: "Go to the liquor store, buy a small bottle. Don't buy too much that will give you a hangover or cheap stuff that will give you a headache. Drink it before you go to bed. And in your sleep, you'll sweat out all the sickness." Hmm, curiously, that wasn't on the list of 4 medications my doctor wants me to take." -2/11/2010

"just received a phone call from the von Trapp house in Salzburg. I'm pretty sure I never imagined that would happen." -2/21/2010

"Soy un robot rumiante." -2/22/2010

March 2010
"is going to spend the afternoon deleting old or corrupt files, backing-up, and then installing a new operating system. Metaphorically, at least." 03/12/2010

"Some creepy computer from Vandy just called me and told me, "This is only a test." Yep. That's true." -3/19/2010

"My plan from May to mid-June: Hone my dance skills for the impending dance off. You better watch your step, I'm taking home the crown this year." -3/28/2010

April 2010
"Last night I dreamed I was having dinner with an important politician from PR (don't worry, it wasn't Fortuno) at some atrocious fusion-esque restaurant. Here was the good part, they sent Medalla ahead of time for us to have with our awkward dinner." -4/1/2010

"The most perplexing question I've been asked lately: "Do unicorns even have lips?" -Arthur Reed" -4/22/2010

"is about to go all coffee cup on you." 04/25/2010

"is trying to convince myself the sound of the alarm going off outside is really the sweet sound of the coqui." -4/30/2010

May 2010
"Oh, in other good news for the night, my bathroom is flooded." 05/1/2010

""Your tongue is purple." -Art Reed in reference to my first exposure to cherry moonshine." -5/3/2010

"It is all in the merging. And I'm pretty sure he merges effortlessly." 05/17/2010

"According to Art and Ashley, I'm being served broodiness on a silver platter in the dining car of the broodexpress heading to Broodmont. Now I just need the right soundtrack." -5/20/2010

June 2010
"I should have been a cowboy." -6/3/2010

"is working on her degree at Attitude University." -6/4/2010

"You guys are really weird about some things. -The Weird One" -6/5/2010

"Porch. Mixed berries. Peligroso." -6/7/2010

"Me (at the local Rite Aid): Do you have pickles? Islam (one of my favorite employees at my local Rite Aid): Pickles? What are pickles? Me: Delicious. Tiny baby cucumbers soaked in vinegar. Islam: Pickles? Me: Pickles. Islam: Pickles? Me: Pickles. (Laughter. High Five.) Islam: No, I don't think we have pickles." -6/9/2010

"I'd rather be brooding than gaying. -Anonymous" -6/19/2010

"I feel like Dorothy. Everything just turned to color." 06/24/2010

"thinks someone has to drink the 40 in the bottle, not a glass." 06/26/2010

July 2010
"is not a lizard person. Thankfully." -7/2/2010

"has decided that I'm not leaving. I'm just saying, Do you know big the universe is?" -7/7/2010

"Apparently, resistance makes you a lobster-person, in addition to stinky and sweaty." 07/18/2010

"It rains champagne here." -7/18/2010

"Is Mario a fruit, vegetable, or grain?" -7/22/2010

""Do you have OIS? Do you repeatedly come up with outlandish ideas about fake weddings, fake beaches, and fake beer commercials? If so, you might have overactive imagination syndrome?" -7/22/2010

"has a camera full of incriminating photographs. Oh my. Manic Monday > Motown Monday." -7/27/2010

"is still wondering what would be more difficult-- taking a chicken on a bus or finding a chicken to take on the bus." -7/27/2010

" "New Rule: If they can't or won't dance: Deal-Breaker." -Ashley Archer (Yes, I concur." -7/28/2010

"I hope you realize you are making leaving far more difficult than it was." -7/31/2010

August 2010
"is covered in sand, in my bed. But swimming in the ocean as the sun came up was a perfect ending to this story." -8/1/2010

"Saying goodbye to Magaly Colon. Tears: 1, Trying to act tough and strong: 0." -8/2/2010

""So I was thinking about Prince the other night." -Joel Cintron" -8/3/2010

"es en la misma pagina, pero en diferentes paises." -8/6/2010

"Sometimes, just sometimes, Mom is right about everything." -8/31/2010

September 2010
"And most of our conversations are about making sandwiches. Awww, true love." -9/8/2010

"will be constructing my travel rider, just in time for my next trip to PR. Yes, there will be stipulations regarding practical jokes, pickles, pears, and dancing." -9/9/2010

"I'll venture to guess the fact that I'm wearing my bathing suit on the plane and going straight to the ocean is exactly what this one needs to remind me. Oh, PR, how I heart you." -9/22/2010

"Gas and Beer. Its the new primo." -9/23/2010

October 2010
"What sound does a walrus make when he is drinking a margarita? -Arthur Reed." -10/10/2010

"just cheers'd Carly to being in the gutter." -10/14/2010

"So, Ashley Ludman y Michelle Mansour, let me get this straight...sometimes it is a reptile disguised as a devil disguised as a wombat disguised as a wolf disguised as a sheep disguised as a man? Oh hell. No wonder we get so confused. By the way, just wanted you both to know, I accidentally referred to you as my "roommates" today. Sabine and Igor are no longer speaking to me." -10/19/2010

"Broodiness and reptile-devil-wombat-wolf-sheep-men: Vete pal carajo. Yep, it is time for a clean sweep and a blank new page." -10/25/2010

November 2010
"was just trying to text the word "ignorer" and it thought I meant "igniter." No. Don't put words in my text, cell phone. Well, maybe it was right." -11/9/2010

""What does that mean? Is it riding around in a Pontiac?" -Ashley Ludman" -11/13/2010

"Or wait, maybe it isn't a wombat...but a hyena?" -11/20/2010

"Joel: "Are there monkeys in Nashville? I want to see the monkeys!" Me: "No, but there are some hyenas and wombats." -11/22/2010

December 2010
"My head is two knives, one phone, and a sugar packet." -12/2/2010

"hopes the clouds disperse soon." -12/19/2010

"Me (to Emmett): "Can I live in your junkyard?" Emmett: "Yes, you can live in this Pontiac."" -12/24/2010

"is not a fan of complicitous silence...and this does not make me very popular at family functions during the holidays." -12/25/2010

"Change the paradigm." -12/29/2010

Somos Los Brooders Holiday Mix 2010

It is 2010. Here is my annual mix. Many of you already know, but this is the 9th year I've been making the annual mix and distributing it amongst friends. The list has grown quite large-- and throughout the years people are added, removed, added again, or just maintain a permanent spot. Even today, my old friend Anton said, "Of course I remember the mixes. I remember when there were on TAPES!" Yes. I began the process with actual mixtapes.

After spending a good 5 years burning countless cds, printing pictures and song listings, and paying an insane amount of shipping, I thought I would seek out a new production process. I'd also like to thank Reloj Bomba, for not only creating one kick ass holiday mixtape sharing experience, but also for showing me how to move into the technological age of 20-somethings everywhere.

So here you have it. I've provided a listing of the songs with explanations for why they were chosen. At the very bottom of the page, you'll find the link to download the mix.


1. Annie Hall Opening- Woody Allen

If you don't know how much I love Woody Allen, then I'm going to assume we aren't that close. "And it is all over much too quickly...."


2. Estas Que Te Pelas- Carla Morrison

I'll be honest with you. I've been in love with this song for months. However, I just now found the time to look up the lyrics and begin to translate them. And it is spot on. It says exactly what I had hoped was happening in this beautiful cover by Carla Morrison. If you aren't already familiar with her work, please seek her out. She can do no harm. Seriously. I could have compiled an entire mix of only her music. In addition, I came in contact with this version from the website Club Fonograma, where you can download new music and mixes. Que fantastico. "Cuantas ganas tengo, de robarte un beso."


3. Dance, Dance, Dance- Lykke Li

Apparently this mix is going to require me to say, "I'll be honest" alot...Eeeks. The first time I heard this song, it was during my summer fieldwork in Puerto Rico. I was searching online for a hair salon, as I was still two weeks away from being reunited with Andrea at Gloss (Shout-Out!). I pulled up this one swanky salon and this song started playing. I fell in love with it. Little did I realize how true it was...It'll always remind me of Manic Mondays at the Cafe.

"Having trouble telling how I feel, but I can dance, dance, dance. Couldn't possibly tell you how I mean, but I can dance, dance, dance. So when I trip on my feet, look at the beat, it was all written in the sand. When I'm shaking my hips, look for the swing, it was all written in the air..."


4. Shot Down- The Sonics

Yep, Motown Mondays. 5 Spot. Nashville. Awww, the old days.

5. When I'm With You- Best Coast

Apparently I might have arrived on the Best Coast scene late, but WRVU, Vanderbilt's public station (which you should support to keep on the air), played this on the day I got back from Thanksgiving break. It fit. It will always remind of Thanksgiving break. From picking Joel up at the airport to the adventures on Lower Broad to the potluck to the drive from Nashville to Charlotte to the time in Charlotte with family and friends to dropping Joel off at the airport.

"The world is lazy, but you and me, we're just crazy."


6. Be My Baby- The Ronettes

Just a classic. Perfect. Short. Sweet.


7. Hot Love- T. Rex

I'm just going to leave this one without explanation. Does it really need one?


8. Heartilation- Andrew Jackson Jihad

My wonderful friends Magaly and Jorell introduced me to the music of Andrew Jackson Jihad. I fell in love. And this past year I had the chance to see him play, not only in a parking lot to an underaged crowd, but also inside the club. It was magical. This is the kind of song I can turn up to full volume in my truck and play one thousand times.

"I wanna break apart my heart, glue the pieces to my car, crash it into a wall, I don't want to feel at all, I want to break apart my heart. Douse it in gasoline, so the fire burns clean, flick a cigarette like that movie Con Air, doused in gasoline. And if you think you are better than me, you're right. There's no one to love. There's no one to trust. In my life..."


9. So Far Around The Bend- The National

I've loved The National for a few years now. I fell in love with this particular song during my summer in Puerto Rico. There was something about being both between here and there, with and without a home. Full circle. In early October, one of my bestest friends Carlos came to visit to attend The National's show at The Ryman in Nashville. At the last minute, we bought a ticket for Art to join us. The three of us sat in the back of the theatre, dancing, singing, and laughing. It was beautiful.

"Wanted to cry, but you can't when you're laughing..."


10. La Emergencia- Superaquello

My last night in Puerto Rico this summer, I was fortunate enough to be introduced to the band Superaquello by my lovely friend Mario. It was happenstance. We had not planned to be there. We stumbled into the bar. We danced in the crowd. We danced on the side of the stage. And we danced well into the early morning hours in the club, on the street, and in the ocean.


11. Save Me- Aimee Mann

This one breaks my heart every single time. It is for all my brooding collaborators...and for those of you that suspect you are "cold-hearted snakes" inside, because you aren't really.

"You look like a perfect fit for a girl in need of a tourniquet. But you can save me. Come on and save me. If you save me. From the ranks of the freaks, who suspect they can never love anyone..."


12. Bombay- Alex Ferreira

Another cover from the Club Fonograma blog.


13. The Sparrow and the Medicine- The Tallest Man On Earth

My spectacular friends, Trey and Kyle introduced me to The Tallest Man On Earth....but mostly through their posting of videos. And if I am correct, there was one fateful night where Kyle told me I should download an album. And in my hazy state (wait, what?), I downloaded an entire album. It wasn't until this song came on my shuffle during a drive home from school one day that I totally fell in love with it. And I'm sure glad it did.


14. We Can Get Together- The Hold Steady

Oh gosh, I love Craig Finn. I love The Hold Steady. When I first fell in love with this song, it was about The Captain (to remain unnamed). I remember it made me cry then. Then it reminded me of my new friend Jeffrey Parker, because he loved it too. And it didn't make me cry. And then...there was that fateful day. This was the song I was listening to when my friend Trey called me to tell me that our friend Charlie had been killed in a car accident. So, now, this song is Charlie. It will always be Charlie. And it will always make me cry.

"He wasn't just the drummer, he was the singer's younger brother. I still spin the single, but it don't sound that simple. Let it shine down on all of us, let it warm us from within....Heaven is whenever we can get together. Sit down on your floor, and listen to your records. Heaven is whenever we can get together. Lock your bedroom door, and listen to your records..."


15. Caught the Song- David Dondero

Dondero has been an acquaintance for more years than I dare mention and a friend for some less than that. He is incredible. You should see him when you get the chance. This is from his latest album.And you know, it is true.

"I don't want to love and leave you again. I don't want to love and leave a friend..."


16. Winter Winds- Mumford & Sons

Another treasure brought to my attention by the miraculous Kyle and Trey. This is it. This is the broody music. Maybe I lied earlier. I'm not going to be completely honest. I've felt this way...often, even. But that's all you get.

"As the winter winds litter London with lonely hearts, Oh, the warmth in your eyes swept me into your arms, Was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night? For every kiss your beauty trumped my doubt. And my head told my heart "Let my love grow," But my heart told my head, "This time no, this time no..."


17. Bye Bye Baby- Mary Wells

"Your love was sweet as wine..."


18. Stay The Fuck Away From Me- Lightspeed Champion

Do we need much more than the title of the song by way of explanation?


19. La Hora de Volve- Rita Indiana & Los Misterios

I was introduced to Rita Indiana by Carlos. Some nights instead of talking, we just send one another youtube videos. He sent me this song. At that moment I knew that Rita Indiana and I were destined to convene in the same physical space and the same time in the near future. A few months ago, her band released a whole album. It is amazing. It would be listed in the top five of this year. Hell, I'll go further. I anticipate it'll rank in the top 50 of the decade. Yep, it is that good. I'm not sure I've stopped dancing. Rita, let's plan to meet in San Juan.

20. Pushover- Etta James

My favorite line: "Your temptin' lips, your wavy hair, your pretty eyes with that come hither stare. It makes me weak and I start to bend. And then I stop and think again...."


21. All I Really Want to Do- Bob Dylan

Road trip. North Carolina. Near the Harmon Den exit. Perfect advice from Bob. Sometimes we just have to let go of trying to make something out of something else.


22. Thank You for Your Love- Antony & The Johnsons

How could a holiday mix be complete without Antony? Although I'll dedicate this one broadly to all my incredible friends, there is one person in particular...to whom this applies specifically...my dearest friend Art. He has been there for me this last year..."when all is falling in the seizure of pain," "when I was lost in the dark blackness," and "when my mind was broken into a thousand pieces." If anything could be said about the year 2010, I learned the value of friends....as I know I'm blessed with the most fantastic people around me, both near and far.


23. True Love Will Find You In the End- Daniel Johnston

It will, you know. For the brooders..."don't be sad, I know you will...." And yes, Ashley and Michelle, it will. But maybe it has already found us....in our family.


Find the downloads here...

Download Somos Los Brooders Holiday Mix

And if you have any trouble downloading the music above, here is another place.
Somos Los Brooders Holiday Mix, Take Two