2011: A Year of Facebook Status Updates

Last year, I decided to review my year by scrolling through the year of Facebook status updates...and it was so incredibly fun (at least for me), I've decided to post them again this year. So, here you go, enjoy, my friends...

January 2011


"No, really, Michelle, I want to marry a vineyard."

"Every time I drink, I become more philosophical. I become Yoda." -Michelle Mansour

"Uh oh. I have a crush on Jesus."

"...is en route to the pansy dance party with Erin, Ashley, Michelle, and Arthur. Wooly! Wooly!"

February 2011


"...is wearing invisible devil horns right now. Yeah, you heard me."

"From family dinner: "If I posted a song that said, "I hate you, (name of guilty party)", non-gendered pronoun would think...I think I'll do some reading...I think I'll go to a (unnamed activity)...I think I'll take a nap...I wonder how (name of innocent party) is...maybe I'll read again." Of course, this was all enhanced by the theatrical enactment of quote (with sound effects) by impartial observer."

"...is watching Bieber do anything for the first time."

"Carly Rush: "I feel really, really, really awkward right now." Katherine: "Yes, Carly, the smooth jazz is making me feel weird too."

"I don't eat meat, but I would rub bacon fat on my neck in a second if I thought...(yep, City House).

"Yep. Shut it down."

"To Ashley in conversation: "Oh my, my ears are so red right now. I think they are turning into horns."

March 2011


"...is driving my truck home for the last time...sniff, sniff."

""When things get murky, you tend to flee..." Yes. It is true. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Tequila makes you smart." -Ashley. "Yes, see, tequila does make smart." -Michelle"

"Not like you didn't know already, but I have the best Nashville family ever."

"The Ace of Base was excellent skating rink music." -Brad

"Mike, Conor, Nate, Andy, and Time: Hide the baguettes and tequila, I'm on my way."

"...will never forget C-note's new dance move: The Juggler. Such a fantastic night."

"This is time-release Tanya." -Mi madre

"...is letting out a rebel yell."

"...is stuck between time zones and waves and wires...missing you already and tipsy in the airport."

"No, actually, its the Medalla in every picture that I find cute..." -Ashley (and maybe Katerina)

"Art and I are outside. If Shawn can come get us, that's cool."

"Waiter (now dubbed Giovanni): "Have you had heart?" Katherine: "No. In fact, I haven't."

"I just wanna bite on that arm like a corn on the cob."

"I find this particular line in my Spanish homework curious: I began to dance on the table."

"And...cue the clown music."

"Would rather be 1750 miles from here...on a beach with good friends."

"Us single ladies have to figure out how to light our own pilot lights." -Ashley, during the house walk thru

April 2011


"Bus quote of the day: "You dumb ignorant."

"I mean, who doesn't want someone to sprinkle a little mozzarella on them?"

"Weird...There is a red potato in my purse."

"And just like that...my truck is gone."

"Barry. Roger. Merlin. Jody. Wilfred. Egbert."

"...got shit on. Literally. By a bird."

"Opening line from student paper: "Men have penises, women have vaginas."

"...just ate a little bit of pork. First in five years."

"...is princess of the prairies...or something like that."

" "Here's to the biters!" -Ashley

"Relationships. That shit is hard." -Eric aka Mr. Autowash. It is true I live in the best neighborhood in Nashville. Noe only do complete strangers stop by to provide you with supplies to make you feel better, but they provide you with words of wisdom."

"You just need to turn the beautiful butterfly back into a drunk incompetent caterpillar."

"After licking clean Arnold's corn mustache, he says, "I know some Sting when I hear it."

"Pass the tea. Shut it down. Go fish. Take your pick. Annnnnddddd, scene. (Well, that was quick...)

May 2011


"Me, Ashley, Heidi Klum, and Seal, You know, a normal Friday after riding the bus."

"...is covered in not only my own sweat, but the seat of all the Archers fans."

"...is selling a life path I didn't take on eBay."

"If you are looking for trouble, just look right in my face."

"...just walked in the door from Memphis...and now in an hour, onwards to City House to meet an old Charlotte friend. I wonder if I should wear my TCB button?"

"In need of a Stop n' Stab margarita."

"Dance Party for one, outside of Augusta to Otis Redding's Shake."

June 2011


"I'm living all over you. Yep. You heard me. Reverse it."

"'Don't expect anything from me, unless I'm doing it.""

"Midnight swimming."

"...feels like jello. Jello del pollo."

""That's gonna open a whole bag of worms..."- Jennie Ann"

"...is a catfish."

"In town for merely 5.5 hours and I have a bad feeling that I accidentally stepped in it."

"I'm sort of love with my life lately, if you can't tell. The days pile up and I feel more and more fortunate to be surrounded by all these lovely people. Yep, I mean you. All. Of. You."

"Just passed a boat named, "Disorder-lee Conduct." Obviously, I have a new life goal  now."

"Mildred just narrowed her eyes at me, after noticing I was doing searches for 'preserving watermelon skin.'"

"I'm missing that dancing lil' biscuit right about now."

"Que lio, que lio, que lio. You have no idea."

""Oh my gawd, I just touched boobs..."- Art in reference to my basil perfuming

"Uh oh, here comes the murkiness...And I only know one way to deal with that. Run. Like. Hell."

"Having to explain this to my professors: Entrenchment."

"I don't know about his chow chow, but his gnocchi kicks your ass."

"My new name dubbed by Jeremy is: Messica."

"I wasn't ready for all this nature..."

"Mom: "So, what annoys you the most about him?" Me: (Silence). Mom: "Oh hell, that was too long of a pause."

"And then Carly said, "Don't worry, we can get him a unicorn mask..." No, that's not about you."

"Thanks to Art and Jeremy for a lovely evening out discussing...well all sorts of things. But in particular, thanks to Jeremy for giving me one of the most lovely and thoughtful and powerful gifts I've received in so so long. You both sure are some lovely parachutes."

"And it just stops as quick as it started."

"...will only be a classic fool for six more days...in case you were wondering..."

"Sometimes I move in reverse"

"Will be Buck Owens come with a bartender on the side?"

"Headphones."

July 2011


"On my new phone, I have the sound of incoming text messages as: "Suspense."  That sounds about right. Now, if could find a way to set the sound of outgoing text messages to "Shady."

"Best quote from last night: "I think somebody bit me."

"Literally has BBQ sauce under each fingernail."

"Like Art says, "Now, we are REALLY having fun."

"I wanna blow some shit up..." -Art

"It's a cornbread crumbles sort of situation...and it breaks my heart."

"Family dinner was excellent and hilarious. Favorite quote: "I wish I had 3 eyes so I could wear this mask.""

"This is harder than I thought."

""I'm pretty sure he has everything big..." best quote of the night."

"And if they let us share a room at rehab, we'd never get "better""

"Jorell just used the word 'ain't'...and then it got real, real awkward."

"Trust me, I'd turntable you, anytime, anywhere."

"Ashley: "I think we should move to Spain too..." Katherine: "And fall in love with everyone we meet.""

August 2011


"This is way too early to be navigating the streets, but worth it."

"Katherine to Ashley: "Well, I think you should treat yourself to a little promiscuity."

"It's all Jawbreaker."

"Bless Magaly for making brunch."

"It is clear. I'm in the wrong place."

"I'm taking a page from Michelle's book. Delete. Block. That gal is inspiring, I tell ya."

"I almost forgot the best quote of the night by Michelle: "Katherine wants to run the bases!""

"What if I just covered myself in basil?"

"The gloves are coming off. Place your bet."

September 2011


"Sometimes, just sometimes, I like to make bad decisions."

"Me: "Maybe its the way he smells?" Mom: "Does he smell like pork?""

"Infect me with your cream sauce." -Art's interpretation of Katy Perry

"Me (to Ashley): "You know what, I think I figured it out. He doesn't smell like pork, he smells like alcohol. Well that'd explain it."

"I don't want anything with a bone in it." -Me at Tayst

"I make the down and dirty cobbler." -Michelle at Tayst

"...is a classic fool, because I still believe. The vinyl tells me otherwise...and I should listen."

"All my fancy strikers are jerks." -Ashley

"I'm just waiting on the step, that's it. For now."

"I want to live inside this mofongo. Seriously."

"Quite mysteriously, I have a craving for Greek chocolates now...and all that implies."

"Michelle (about champagne): "It's like a hug."

"So.....Fall, we meet again."

"I'm still waiting for grand gestures, for some reason."

"Apparently, expectations are overrated."

October 2011


"Me to Carly: "He was as big as a lumberjack, wore only flannel, and smelled like a homeless man....(sigh). He was perfect.""

"Me to Michelle: "If any man could destroy me, it'd be him. Which is obviously why I like him.""

"Well, he is awfully cute. Compact. I could put him in my purse."

"Absinthe wisdom: Instead of rose petals, I'll leave tiny little pencils all over the bed. Que romantico."

"Days gettin' longer, nights gettin' colder."

November 2011


"Ecstatically happy today. Bring it, world."

December 2011


"I'm going to start drinking beer. It is on my to-do list." -Andrea

"And that's a reminder...."

"Weird. I just remembered that last night I had a dream (yes, in those 4 hours) about being on a MTA bus that repeatedly kept crashing. I'm pretty sure this is a metaphor for my experiences in dating."

"K: "They were all repeat offenders." J: "Hot." K: "No (censored)." J: "Oh, I thought you meant prison dudes."

"Where does he put the apostrophe?" -Carly"

"From now on, I shall be known as Shaky Swizzles Everhart."

"And then we started remembering our social security numbers....Wow. This party is really off the hook."

"Quote of the night: "I'd rather him bite me, than be nice to me."...holiday celebrating with the girls at City House"

"Because we might need one more quote to add to the year-end FB status blog post...Carly: "No more 3-for-1's this time." Oh how, I love late night phone conversations with Carly. Such a gem and incredibly insightful."

"And then Michelle and I did the Maniac flashdance in the living room."

"Quote of the year: "It's broken and beautiful, just like us." -Art in reference to a Christmas tree ornament

"Did I just get re-engaged? This has been one of those days..."

"And then I put my heart on my sleeve....before I boarded the plane."

"I quote my mother: "Heeeeeyyyyyyy." This was the most hilarious night ever I swear. I haven't had this much fun in a long, long time. I love my mama."

"Lesson learned: Your mama will steal your property when you are in the kitchen making a drink."

"It must be an Everhart thing. I have no self control." -Crystal

"It seems like most mornings these days, I wake up tangled up in a set of headphones. Its akin to Dylan's Tangled Up in Blue."

"A sociologist and economist got drunk in an airport bar."

"He's not sexual sorbet. He's sexual bacon. It seems like a really good idea, but then your heart hurts afterwards." -Andrea

"Let the Nashville malaise begin...."

Cheers Facebook Folks! And enjoy!