Infinite Jest, Day 09.

Before I leave for Australia, I made a note to blog about my progress with David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, as I have mostly been posting quotes that appeal to me throughout my reading. Typically, I dog-ear several pages, then go back through picking out the one quote or section I like the most to post.  My intention was to post an update that was more substantive, regarding my reading and my thoughts on the novel.

Well...I don't know how to tell you this, but at Day 09, I decided to that as much as I'm enjoying the novel. It is time to put it down. As I read the last pages (around 330), I found myself thinking about a number of things...and it was then I realized that the time to read this novel is not now. However, I do have a few insights, or in the least, thoughts I had about reading the novel.

For one, it was suggested to me when I was about 1/8th into the novel to purchase a companion book alongside the novel. Yes, this is absolutely necessary. I spent 1/8th of the novel reading into the dark. I had no idea what was happening. Given that I know very little about the style of the novel, I found myself completely lost, reading bits and pieces of narratives without any real insight into how these pieces fit together. Now, yes, I think this is the point of the beginning. Like a film that begins with short narratives of major characters that eventual weave together in interesting and complicated ways....however, Wallace's complexity left me completely lost. I kept thinking...Wait, I'm just not smart enough to read this. With the companion guide, I was able to understand the ways in which chapters and sections are organized, just what in the world this "Year of" ordering was, and the major characters. It allowed me to more clearly read the next 3/8ths of the novel much more successfully. So, yes, without a doubt, get yourself a companion guide to read alongside. However, also realize this generally adds about 700 pages to your reading of 1000 pages. Thus, I believe one of my reasons for stopping at this point is that trying to rush through the novel at this point is not desirable.

Secondly, I realized I have a dirty little habit of reading myself into novels. I'm looking for myself when I read. Yes, I am that egotistical. I found myself bored, yes, I said it, with all the technical details...and while I admire Wallace's ability to construct an entire new world-- in a sense; I found myself too quickly reading the technical sections to get to the more philosophical, narrative-based sections. As a sociologist, I can't help but be drawn to the narrative, to the relationships. And given some of my own personal experience, I was drawn more so to the issues of isolation, boundaries, and addiction. When I finished a section and turned to the companion to make sure I was following the correct thread, I realized I missed quite a bit by my quick reading. That in between the technical details, there was substance that I was not taking the time to explore. I do not want this to happen.

Third, one of the reasons I chose to read the novel was, ahem, because I watched the Josh Radnor movie Liberal Arts. I was so curious to find out how the novel provided the backdrop for the characters in the movie and I knew I always wanted to read some of Wallace's work (maybe now is the time to select another novel for the time being). As I was thinking about whether or not it was time to put the novel down for another time, I remembered a couple of scenes in the movie. There was the idea about having to "suffer through great art." In particular, there is a debate about whether art and culture is something to "enjoy" (in the case of the movie, they reference vampire novels) or rather, it is something that you "suffer" through because it is such a great work of art. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying reading the first third of the novel was suffering by any stretch of the imagination, but it was work. It is hard work. I commend those of you who have read the entire novel, particularly those of you who have read it several times. I hope to do this one day. But I realized that the novel began dragging me around, rather than operating as a treat, which is ultimately why I do my monthly projects. It seems to me that my enjoyment could be enhanced by reading the novel over a more expansive amount of time. Where I could enjoy each section over a month, dissecting, interrogating, reading each word, as opposed to trying to reach the end. This leads me to my next point.

Fourth, it seems to me that Wallace wants you to work for the pay-off. He wants you to live inside the characters. He wants you to understand the acronyms and technicalities in the way he did when he was writing the novel. This is not a book you can read quickly and come away with more than a cursory understanding or you know, in my case, a month full of quotes. Yes, they are damn good quotes. And yes, they move me. But again, I don't think this is the way to read this book. It is the long-con, the long narrative. Simultaneously, this reminded me of how I've learned to think in my academic work. What is the take-away? How can you describe your dissertation in one sentence? One paragraph? What is your elevator speech? I've been trained to think in these shorter narratives. And thus, it becomes difficult to allow myself to let a story unfold, no matter how messy, and realize that by the end, it will become clear to me. Incidentally, this is the way my dissertation took shape. It was messy. Everyone wanted to know my research question, my take-away, my one sentence description...and well, at first, it was messy, it was all over the place...and then it came together. While I appreciate this in my own work, I know this did not take place in merely one month. I also know it did not take place in two or three months. It took years. And, I think, I'd rather read this novel in a way that allows my mind to think in this way.

Lastly, I've learned in my personal life, there is a joy in knowing when to quit, when to call something off, when to just say, "Okay, I tried this. Let's stop now. Let's do something else." Because, well, I can come back to it. And trust me, I intend to return. But for now, it is time to turn my attention to the second novel on my list to read for July.

Besides, I have a phone date scheduled with my best friend in five minutes and well, sorry, but that takes precedence. In the film, Liberal Arts, there is the theme about reading about life versus going out and living life. By no means do I think these are polar opposites, but there is something about it that resonates at the moment.

I'll be back. I'll start again. Not at page 320, but rather, at the beginning. But this time, I'll go slowly and let it all sink in.

And tomorrow, I'll start 100 Years, just in case I also decide it is time to put it down before heading to Australia.